Overstimulated and Almost Back in Burnout: Why I've Started a Program with Charlotte de Jong (Echt in Balans)
Things started to get worse for me in May. There was uncertainty around Haro's health. This started after we had contact with the hospital and they told us they wanted to do some new tests. They didn't find anything acute, but now, in September, they are comparing his medical records from the Netherlands with their own results. After that, we'll hear whether any further investigation is needed.
That period of uncertainty showed me something I hadn't seen as clearly before. It triggered something in me that feels a bit like trauma. I'm still trying to understand exactly what this means and where it comes from. What I do know is that Haro is my anchor. In a situation like that, my first thought is that I wouldn't be able to manage taking care of our animals and myself if something happened to him.
I know that isn't true and that I have grown and recovered so much that I would absolutely manage. But in the moment, that is how it feels. For a few seconds, it really is my first thought. Then a kind of panic response follows and suddenly all the stimulation becomes too much.
Maybe it helps to give a little more background first.
I've actually been sensitive to outside stimulation my whole life. A lot of light, noise and too many things happening at once can quickly become overwhelming for me. A few years ago, I discovered that I am highly sensitive, or a highly sensitive person (HSP).
I've also had several periods in my life where I became completely overwhelmed by depression and exhaustion. I've had multiple burnouts. The main difference between those earlier periods and 2012 was that before then, I could always get some kind of boost of energy by starting something new. A new job, a new challenge or something else I was excited about. It would feel as if my energy was coming back and I could keep going for a few more months.
Looking back, I can see that I was probably just using up my last reserves.
In 2012, that no longer worked.
I really couldn't do anything anymore. No new job, no new challenge, nothing I could use to recharge myself.
I always describe it like this: my battery was empty, but my dynamo was broken too. A new battery didn't help anymore because it wasn't being charged.
Eventually, during that period, I even had two short admissions to a PAAZ psychiatric ward because the exhaustion and depression meant I was no longer able to properly take care of myself.
Looking back now, I understand better why I was so shocked when I noticed around July which direction things were heading again.
I cried a lot. Everything seemed like too much. My head was full and my sensitivity to stimulation was becoming stronger and stronger.
I thought: I'm getting dangerously close to how it felt back then.
There was an important difference, though.
Where in the past I could stay in that state for days, weeks or much longer, this time it sometimes lasted only a few hours.
It still felt very intense, but I recognized what was happening much earlier.
I recognized the signals, I took time to rest and I asked for help.
During that period, we also had plans to go to the Netherlands in August. For us, it was more than just a holiday. But because of everything that was going on, it remained uncertain for quite some time whether we would actually be able to go.
In the end, we had to cancel the holiday just a few days before we were due to leave because we no longer had certainty about who would take care of our animals.
In September, a new possibility suddenly came up for us to go to the Netherlands after all. Someone who was already in Sweden responded to my post on Facebook and within a week, everything was arranged for the animals.
That meant we had to organize a lot in a short amount of time.
On the one hand, that brought quite a bit of stress. At the same time, I was incredibly happy that we could go because we were able to see several family members who are not able to come to us in Sweden themselves.
Three and a half years ago, we moved from the Netherlands to Sweden. This was the first time we had been back for a visit.
We spent five days in the Netherlands and had social plans almost every day. It was wonderful to see family and friends again and to meet my nephew, who is almost three, in person for the first time. Until then, I had only seen him through video calls and photos.
At the same time, it was an enormous amount of stimulation.
The nearly 5,000 km we travelled in 14 days took more out of me than I had expected. We've now been home for three weeks and since last week I've found a nice rhythm again.
Three weeks before we left for the Netherlands, I started the Echt in Balans program with burnout coach and orthomolecular expert Charlotte de Jong.
Charlotte joined our Daily Impact team within Zinzino a few months ago, which is how we got in touch with each other.
When I realized how close I was getting to those old feelings again, I started thinking about what I needed. I didn't just want to try to recognize the signals earlier. I also wanted to better understand what happens inside me when the stimulation and tension become too much.
During our stay in the Netherlands in September, I also met Charlotte in person. We had an extensive intake and talked about my history. That conversation meant a lot to me.
Even though I haven't been doing the program for very long, I notice that I'm starting to recognize more clearly what happens to me when uncertainty arises. I'm learning to recognize my reactions better and to not immediately try to move away from them, but instead to look at them and feel what is happening.
I've been following Charlie Goldsmith since 2021 and more recently I've been learning more about his work.
Charlie is an energy healer who has also studied how trauma can affect the body.
In March 2026, I took a three-day online training with Charlie. The training was quite intensive and lasted around four to five hours a day. During the second day, Charlie decided to extend the training. Because of that, after those three days we received access to the training recordings for a year, as well as a live Q&A with Charlie via Zoom every month.
One of the trainings we have access to is The Upward Spiral. It consists of five sessions totaling around fourteen hours. Charlie wrote the book Human Medicine – The Lost Manual for Your Emotions based on these sessions. I had already bought the book and I have now watched all of the recordings of this training as well.
In the summer of 2025, I started listening to the audiobook Human Medicine. I'm now listening to it for the third time. At the moment, I still find it difficult to properly take in and retain information when reading books like this, so listening to the audiobook works much better for me.
In the videos, Charlie gives additional explanations alongside the information from the book, as well as meditations. This gives me the opportunity to practise with it, but it also helps me to hear certain things multiple times so that I can understand them better.
What appeals to me most about his work is the way he looks at different parts of yourself and how they work together. He explains that parts of ourselves that have become disconnected from the whole because of overwhelming experiences can later react differently when something affects us.
I recognize that more and more in myself. Especially when something happens with Haro, I can sometimes have a much stronger reaction than I would expect. I'm beginning to see more clearly that my reaction isn't always only about what is happening in that moment. I'm still discovering exactly what is behind it.
What I'm learning most at the moment is to consciously feel my emotions and allow them to be there. Not to reject them, because according to this way of looking at things, by doing that you are also rejecting a part of yourself. Every part of yourself is allowed to be there and deserves to be embraced with love.
That doesn't mean, of course, that you have to like the situation that caused the emotion. For me, it mainly means that I no longer push that part of myself away.
Where am I now?
Over the past few weeks, I've had several small insights. I'm beginning to understand more and more what happens to me in certain situations and I'm getting to know myself better through that. Maybe those small insights will ultimately be more important than one big breakthrough.
I'm sharing this story because I think there are more people who reach a point where they feel they can't do it all on their own anymore. Maybe you recognize something of yourself in my story. And maybe it helps to know that asking for help and seeking support really can make a difference.